Film Review - "Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio"

Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio

Directed by...yeah him and Mark Gustafson

Starring Gregory Mann, David Bradley, and Ewan McGregor

I'm still in disbelief that in the year of our lord 2022 we got THREE Pinocchio films. There was no doubt in mind that the Disney live-action remake, and that meme-fuel from Luminescence starring...Pauly Shore, would be terrible though. Conversely, I had no doubt that this would be the best Pinocchio film of the year by a long shot.

It's nice to say we've got another great film adaptation of Pinocchio after eighty-years, and my god is it beautiful.

Del Toro puts his own unique spin on the classic tale by Carlo Collodi. During the first World War, the son of woodcarver Gepetto (Bradley) is killed during an air strike on their small village in Italy. Twenty years later, in a drunken, emotional rage, Gepetto cuts down a pine tree in the hopes of "making" his son again. The magical Wood Sprite (Tilda Swinton) sees this and grants life to the wooden boy, named Pinocchio (Mann).

Naturally, and frankly more realistically, Gepetto is very hesitant to accept this sentient puppet as his new son...in fact he's kind of freaked out by him, as is most of their village. Nevertheless Pinocchio goes off on the usual adventures. He's tricked into skipping school and joining a carnival, is drafted into war, struggles with his own mortality-wait...

Again, Del Toro puts his own unique spin on Pinocchio, and it works so well. The idea of a grieving Gepetto creating Pinocchio in a drunken stupor like some kind of Italian Doctor Frankenstein is just so beautifully GDT. But there's so much depth here that we don't see in other adaptations of the Pinocchio story. The original story is dark and the film leans into that (The opening sequence is like Up turned up to eleven). This isn't an animated film manufactured to babysit children. It has lessons for them but for adults, too.

There's heavy themes about faith, war, morality, and loss. There is life after death. Death is what gives life meaning. It's hard to believe Pinocchio is teaching us about this. Brilliantly I might add. I'm a big cryer when it comes to films. This was the first time where the film ended, I sat with it, and after really digesting what the film was saying to me, that is when the tears began to flow. 

The idea of telling the story of Pinocchio in stop-motion is genius, particularly because stop-motion is called animation, but it's photographed just like regular filmmaking. It's not drawn on paper or rendered in a computer. It's animation, but it's real, like Pinocchio himself. The animation is gorgeous. The characters have so much beautiful, intricate details. The depth of field in the shots are breathtaking. The sets and sweeping backgrounds of the Italian countryside look as real as can be. The lighting is amazing. Guillermo del Toro is a firm believer that animation is cinema. It is not a genre or just for children, it is a medium that deserves the industry's respect. He says it with his full heart and soul in this film.

The voice-acting is stellar. Young Gregory Mann is wonderful as Pinocchio. He's a brat but there's enough innocence and heart in the character that you still root for him. Which is nice because at his core, the character of Pinocchio is a little $h*t! Caretaker of Hogwarts Argus Filch, aka David Bradley, plays Gepetto with the perfect balance of gruff and empathy. At the expense of another Up parallel, it's like an Italian Carl Fredericksen. This story is just as much his as it is Pinocchio's, and Bradley sells it.

Ewan McGregor is charming as always as Sebastian Cricket. Christoph Waltz is wonderfully despicable as Count Volpe. Ron Perlman is his usual best self as the Podesta. Finally, Cate Blanchett gives the performance of her career as Spazzatura (In your face Lydia Tár!).

Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio just took home the Academy Award for Best Animated Feature, and it was more than well deserved. This film is a beautiful labor of love from a man who loves animation and filmmaking, with a wonderful story that can resonate with all ages. It may just be my favorite film of last year, and that's no lie.

...I still need to put my Top Films of 2022 in writing...as well as my Top Films of 2021. I can never get those rankings out on time...

The Best Animated Films You (Probably) Haven't Seen

These are troubling, uncertain times. Everything is shut down, from schools to movie theaters. For weeks now we've all been stuck inside, undoubtedly running out of options on how to keep busy. What to read, what to do, and what to watch.

I'm sure many of you and your families are running out of viewing options, and really there's only so many times you can watch Frozen 2 with the kids without losing a touch of sanity. Luckily, there's a plethora of animated films out there that aren't from Disney or Pixar. So I wanted to present some options for you to consider, if you feel like venturing beyond the realm Disney Plus.

Here's, in my opinion, The Best Animated Films You (Probably) Haven't Seen!


The Road to El Dorado
DreamWorks Animation. Released March 31, 2000
Directed by Don Paul & Eric "Bibo" Bergeron
Starring Kevin Kline, Kenneth Branagh, and Rosie Perez

El Dorado was one of the few traditionally animated films Dreamworks produced before Shrek-fever took over and they went full-CGI. It tells the story of Tulio & Miguel (Kline & Branagh), two con-artists in the 1500s, who after being locked up as stowaways on Hernan Cortez's ship, embark on a quest to discover El Dorado, the Lost City of Gold. Of course they do find the legendary city, and the citizens mistake them as gods. Thus begins their ultimate con, and test of their friendship.

It's a really fun film with gorgeous traditional animation. It's premise is akin to the Bob Hope & Bing Crosby Road To...series. It's a great adventure, and a heartwarming story of friendship. The script was also written by Ted Elliot & Terry Rossio, who's other credits include Aladdin, Pirates of the Carribean, and Shrek. The characters/performances are absolutely delightful. Kline and Branagh are such a great match as the leads. There's also music from Hans Zimmer and songs from Elton John. It's not Lion King level work but it's still pretty good. The Road To El Dorado is a fun ride, that definitely deserves more attention than it gets.


Megamind
Dreamworks Animation. Released November 5, 2010
Directed by Tom McGrath
Starring Will Ferrell, Tina Fey, and Jonah Hill

It's been ten years since two particular animated films came out. Despicable Me and Megamind, both of which tell a story of a super-villain turning over a new leaf, and with the benefit of hindsight, I'm just going to say it. I think the wrong one got a franchise. Megamind (Ferrell) is a supervillain constantly at odds with his nemesis Metro Man (A too cool Brad Pitt). Things take a turn though when somehow Megamind manages to defeat and kill Metro Man. Now without a superhero to fight, Megamind feels he has lost his purpose in life. So he sets out to create a new hero to battle with, and inadvertently ends up creating a villain worse than he ever was.

How much you enjoy Will Ferrell might factor in how much you'll enjoy this film, but I find Megamind to be one of his greatest performances. His voice and gravitas is perfect for the cocky, oddball antihero. The rest of the voice cast is pretty great, from Tina Fey as News Reporter Roxanne Ritchie, Jonah Hill as dimwitted cameraman Hal Stewart, and Brad Pitt as Metro Man. The animation is pretty good for Dreamworks, but visually it's not their most striking. I would say though it is one of their funnier films. It's a nice twist on the superhero genre, but at its heart is a story about self-worth and taking control of your identity. Oh and while there is a character named Minion (David Cross), he's not yellow, shaped like a Tic-Tac, and has actual dialogue...


Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie
Dreamworks Animation. Released June 2, 2017
Directed by David Soren
Starring Ed Helms, Kevin Hart, and Thomas Middleditch

Speaking of superheroes...School shutdown or not, I just know there are still kids out there reading Dav Pilkey's amazing book series. The first Captain Underpants film (and I pray not the last) is for true fans of the books, those reading them now or who read them when they were young. The script captures the imagination of Pilkey's world perfectly, but there's plenty of quirky humor and heartfelt moments for those new to Captain Underpants to enjoy. Also the animation is like the book illustrations come to life.

For the uninitated, Captain Underptants tells the story of two boys, George & Harold (Hart & Middleditch) who enjoy playing pranks and drawing comic books. When their principal Mr. Krupp (Helms) finally catches them in the act of a prank, he threatens to put them in separate classes forever. Refusing to accept their punishment, George & Harold hypnotize Mr. Krupp (with a mail-order 3D Hypno-Ring) to change his mind. The boys then have a little fun and turn him into their comic-book creation, Captain Underpants. Their trouble really begins when Mr. Krupp/Captain Underpants runs off to "fight crime", and they have to protect him from harm.

While this one might sound a little ridiculous, and more for the younger kids, it's a sweet look at the power of friendship, and how friendship can evolve over time. It will definitely trigger some nostalgia  in older viewers, and I'm pretty confident they'll end up chuckling at some of the gags. Captain Underpants is a silly, creative animated romp, and I'm really hoping for some sequels.
(Original Review)


Rio
Blue Sky Studios. Released April 15, 2011
Directed by Carlos Saldanha
Starring Jessie Eisenberg, Anne Hathaway, and Jermaine Clement

I've already written down my thoughts about Rio a few times, so I'll keep it brief. It's the story of the last two Blue macaws left in the world, who are put together in hopes they will mate and save their species. Blu (Eisenberg) is house-pet from Minnesota who never learned how to fly. Jewel (Hathaway) lives wild and free in Brazil and wants to keep it that way. Naturally the two don't get along at first. But after being separated from their caretakers in Rio, they have to work together to find their way back, and slowly start growing closer together. It's a cliche' love story, but the characters are all lovable and Eisenberg's Blu is easy to root for. The animation is top-notch and the soundtrack is pretty great, with some real jams on it. Rio is a great watch for the whole family, and a nice reminder that Blue Sky can produce something other than a sub-par Ice Age sequel.
(Original Review)
(Ranked #8 in my Top Films of 2011)


The Pirates: Band of Misifts
Aardman Animation/Sony Pictures Animation. Released April 27, 2012
Directed by Peter Lord
Starring Hugh Grant, David Tennant, and Martin Freeman

If you've ever enjoyed Wallace & Gromit or Chicken Run, then you should definitely check out this swashbuckling, mad-cap comedy about a bumbling Pirate Captain (Grant) on a quest to win the Pirate of The Year Award. Along the way, he and his crew make a friend in Charles Darwin (Tennant), and a powerful enemy in Queen Victoria (Imelda Staunton). This film is Aardman at its best, from the animation to the humor. This film is so entertaining, and the cast is stacked. Hugh Grant is iconic as The Pirate Captain. David Tennant is adorkable as Charles Darwin. Martin Freeman is charming as Number Two, and Brendan Gleeson is hilarious as the Pirate with Gout. The Pirates: Band of Misfits is the definition of underrated. It's a true gem of stop-motion animation.
(Ranked #7 in my Top Films of 2012)


Corpse Bride
Warner Bros. Released October 7, 2005.
Directed by Tim Burton
Starring Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, and Emily Watson

Tim Burton fans should definitely check out one of his best films. Victor Van Dort (Depp) lives in a small, dull village in Victorian England. He's shy, timid, and his family has arranged for him to be married to the lovely Victoria (Watson) whom he's just met. After a disastrous wedding rehearsal, Victor strolls into the woods to practice his vows...and unknowingly proposes to a Corpse Bride (Carter), who accepts and carries him off to the Land of The Dead.

Tim Burton has always been great at world-building, and he builds a fantastical one here, from the bland and grey Land of the Living, to the vibrant and color Land of the Dead (Such a good contrast). Stop-motion animation fans, this is a feast for the eyes. Lovers of Burton's The Nightmare Before Christmas will definitely want to check this one out (Sometimes, I think Corpse Bride might be better than it...). The music by usual Burton composer Danny Elfman is beautiful, and the voice cast is full of regular members of Burton's troupe who help to bring this unique story to life (Heh...). Corpse Bride is peak Tim Burton. It's his usual blend of off-beat and gorgeous, and one of his more original and creative works. It's a must-see for animation fans.


Cloudy with A Chance of Meatballs
Sony Pictures Animation. Released September 18, 2009
Directed by Phil Lord & Chris Miller
Starring Bill Hader, Anna Farris, and James Caan

The fact that this one was brought to life by the same guys who gave us The Lego Movie and Spider-Man: Into The Spiderverse should be enough of a reccomendation, but I'll carry on. Based on the same named children's book by Judi Barrett, Cloudy focuses on Flint Lockwood (Hader) a struggling inventor and outcast in the town of Swallow Falls. One day his "Flint Lockwood Diatonic Super Mutating Dynamic Food Replicator" (FLDSMDFR) goes haywire, but ends up raining delicious food all over town, making him an overnight success. Fame starts to go to his head as he starts making all the town's culinary wishes comes true, and it isn't long before his machine starts creating problems...

This one's whacky but is chock-full of heart and laugh out-loud moments. The animation style is so unique and comical, only amplifying the comedy throughout. The voice cast is incredible. Not just Hader, Farris, and Cann, but Andy Samberg, Neil Patrick Harris, Mr. T (as like, the best character in the film) and even more than them. As entertaining as the film is, it also carries a nice message about being true to yourself, and never giving up on your dreams. Hilarious, endearing, and showcasing a spectacular cast, Cloudy with A Chance of Meatballs is another great example of taking a simple children's book and expanding on it for the big screen (successfully).



Cats Don't Dance
Warner Bros. Released March 26, 1997
Directed by Mark Dindal
Starring Scott Bakula, Jasmine Guy, and John Rhys-Davies

Here's one I'd be surprised that a lot of people remember seeing. Cats Don't Dance is an animated musical taking place in the 1930s, focusing on Danny (Bakula), a personified cat who travels to Hollywood to make it big in the pictures (A cat becoming famous? Well looking at the internet nowadays that should be fairly easy!) Well in this version of the Golden Age of Hollywood, there's a sort of prejudice against animals, and they can only get bit parts. Ever the optimistic, Danny sets out to shake the system and help the studios see his and other animal performers' talents.

So think Zootopia meets Singin' In The Rain. It's actually a pretty clever premise. The animation is simple but personable, like old Looney Toons or Chuck Jones work. The music is pretty nice (It's by Randy Newman but don't worry he doesn't sing any of it). "Danny's Arrival Song" has been stuck in my head for twenty-three years. The characters are all likeable, but the one who stands out the most is the villain, Darla Dimple, a sadistic caricature of Shirley Temple. Cats Don't Dance is a little cheesy at times, but it's a fine animated film that's a clever send-up to the Golden Age of Hollywood. It's sweet and has nice themes. It might not become a new favorite, but I think you'll enjoy giving it a watch.


A Boy Named Charlie Brown
Cinema Center Films/Warner Bros. Released December 4, 1969.
Directed by Bill Melendez
Starring Peter Robbins, Pamela Ferdin, and Glenn Gilger

Charlie Brown, do you know who that is? I jest. Chuck, Snoopy and the rest of the Peanuts gang have had a total of five feature films (The last one coming out in 2015, and I honestly debated putting it on here as well because that film was a treasure and deserves more attention), but I opted to go with their first. A Boy Named Charlie Brown has Charlie Brown (Robbins) struggling with his recent string of failures, feeling he'll never succeed at everything. One day, he reluctantly enters the school spelling bee, and ends up winning. That sounds like a happy ending, but it doesn't stop there. Now Charlie Brown must go compete in the National Spelling Bee Championship in New York City. He travels to NYC with Linus (Gilger) and Snoopy (Melendez) to prepare for the championship.

That's all I want to say on the story, because the ending is so bittersweet. I wouldn't want to rob new viewers of the experience, but the film is over 50 years old and I guess if you know Charlie Brown you could figure it out from there. The animation is typical Peanuts faire. It's simple but clever. There are extended, stylized, musical sequences that give off a Fantasia vibe. The film might not hold younger viewers attention too well.

Could I say this is the best of the Peanuts films...maybe? I honestly couldn't tell you if I ever saw Bon Voyage or Race For Your Life. But I do think it's the most important. Not just because it's the first, but because how powerful its message is. Failure is not final. Even in our darkest, most painful moments, it's not the end of the world. We still have the strength to get up, and keep trying. It's okay to fail, but it's not okay to give up. That's something kids and adults all need to be reminded of from time to time. Charlie Brown has stood the test of time because so many of us can relate to his trials and tribulations. We all have been in his position. We've all felt like we can't win and wanted to throw in the towel, but like Charlie Brown we have to dig deep, hold onto hope, and keep moving forward.

I didn't mean to go on a tangent about this old Charlie Brown film. This is the second time I've written a list that's dissolved into a rant about a Peanuts film. A Boy Named Charlie Brown is not a perfect film and I don't even think it's the best film I've listed here...but I do think it's one of the most important, because of what it teaches. It is a perfect representation of what Charlie Brown is, and while you can find that in other Peanuts films and specials, here I think it's at its strongest and most resonating.

...Alright, thanks for sticking around. I'll give you some deep-cut Disney recommendations as a bonus.

Fun & Fancy Free: One of the few package features Disney released during World War II. The first of the two shorts is "Bongo", which is like a spiritual sequel to Dumbo, about a circus bear who escapes to the wild, falls in love, etc.  The second is "Mickey & The Beanstalk" which as you know is "Jack & The Beanstalk" but starring Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck & Goofy. It's such an upbeat, positive film, with catchy music and appearances from Jiminy Cricket and Edgar Bergen.

The Aristocats: The last film Walt signed off on before his death. When a greedy butler learns his wealthy employer will leave her fortune to her cats before him, he kidnaps and abandons them in the Parisian countryside. They befriend a charming alley cat who offers to help them get home. It's light-hearted, a ton of fun, and features a couple of really great songs.

The Great Mouse Detective: Basil of Baker Street (Barrie Ingham), a mouse version of Sherlock Holmes, takes on the case of a kidnapped toymaker, uncovering a sinister plot to take over the country, masterminded by his arch nemesis, Professor Ratigan (Vincent Price). An exhilirating, top-notch myserty/adventure that set the stage for the Disney Renaissance.

That's all for now. Hopefully I got you interested in checking out some films on this list. Some you may have never heard of, or some you have heard of, and now want to give a second look. Happy Binging, and Stay Safe.

Film Review- "Sausage Party"

There are moments in every filmgoer's life, when he finds himself sitting in the theater, staring up at the big silver screen. His eye's wide open like a deer in headlights, paralyzed with shock at what he's witnessing, but cannot look away. His jaw hangs open, as his hand muffles the only words that can escape his breathe, "What. The. *Bleep*"

...This is my review of Sausage Party.

Sausage Party
Directed by Greg Tiernan and Conrad Vernon
Starring Seth Rogen, Kristen Wiig, and Nick Kroll

You know me. You know I love Disney and Pixar, but really I'm a sucker for any good animated film. For the longest time, I had wanted someone to come along and give audiences a send up of the genre. For someone to push the boundaries of the art form, and show that "animated" isn't a synonym for "kiddie". A raunchy, satirical, and adult-oriented animated film...Be careful what you wish for kids. Especially when Seth Rogen is the one granting those wishes.

Sausage Party takes place in the world of an average supermarket, where the edible inhabitants have always believed that when they are purchased, they are being chosen by the gods (humans) to leave the store and enter The Great Beyond, i.e. Their heaven.

For a sausage named Frank (Rogen) and a bun named Brenda (Wiig), entering The Great Beyond means them getting to...consummate their love. When they're chosen together, a series of unfortunate events leads Frank to question their entire existence. He goes on a quest to discover the truth about food, even if it means costing him the love of Brenda and the respect of the entire food community.

Sausage Party's greatest strength is its shock value, and my god do I mean shock. You will constantly be in awe with what you're witnessing. From the opening song to the very end you're on a roller coaster of cringe and crude humor, and at the end of that roller coaster is...you have to see it to believe it my friends...

The film's humor can basically fall into two categories: food puns, and sex jokes. This is probably not everybody's cup of tea. Personally, I was laughing quite a bit throughout. Partially because the jokes were clever and funny, mostly because I was in disbelief at the balls they had to took to make this film.

Hidden behind all this obscenity, is actually a clever story that commentates on religion, belief, and individuality. Who would of thought? Seth Rogen & Evan Goldberg have proved before they can be as clever as they can be crude. Unfortunately, you might forget that when you're witnessing a lesbian taco shell voiced by Salma Hayek fight lustful urges to get it on with Kristen Wiig's bun character.

At this point, pretty much everyone in this film has already lent their voice to an animated film, and everyone does a fine job. Ironically, Frank is probably the most three-dimensional character Rogen's ever played in an animated film (That's not a pun on the CGI animation I swear.). Michael Cera does a nice job as Barry, a deformed sausage. Nick Kroll as the film's villain, plays a perfect douche...ok that one was a pun. Most of the voice cast is almost unrecognizable, from Edward Norton doing a Woody Allen impression as a bagel, Paul Rudd as the douchey dork manager of the supermarket, and James Franco as a druggie who manages to speak with the food.

Pay freaking attention during that scene. Don't do bath salts, kids...

Sausage Party is not a film for everyone. I enjoy a film like this once in awhile, but I'm going to need some time before I watch it again...like years. But it does a perfect job of satirizing the animated genre, deliver a thoughtful message, and leave a lasting impression on its audience.

Especially that last one. Christ, I won't be able to eat for weeks...

Film Review- "Kung Fu Panda 3"

Kung Fu Panda 3
Directed by Alessandro Carloni and Jennifer Yuh
Starring Jack Black, Bryan Cranston, Dustin Hoffman, and JK Simmons

Dreamworks Animation has always been hit and miss with their films. For a while back there, frankly the only good films they were putting out were Shrek and stuff they were distributing for Aardman Animation. Then in 2008 came the first Kung Fu Panda, and it sort of ushered in a new era of quality for the studio.

Six years later, and the quality of their output is still all over the spectrum. Blame it on financial troubles of the studio, poor creative decisions or some combination of both. Along side the How To Train Your Dragon's , the Kung Fu Panda film series remains their best work. Five years after the stellar Kung Fu Panda 2, comes the next installment, Kung Fu Panda 3. While the film only enforces my previous statement, I still found it to be the weakest of the three Kung Fu Panda's.

The film opens in the Spirit Realm, which apparently is where Master Oogway (Randall Duk Kim) went in the middle of the first film. Oogway is confronted by his old friend-turned-nemesis Kai (Simmons), who has stolen the chi from all the kung fu masters in the Spirit Realm. After stealing Oogway's chi, Kai gains the power to return to the mortal realm, where he plans to steal...even more kung fu masters' chi! Of course before he leaves, Oogway foretells of another warrior destined to defeat Kai. (Guess who it is?!?)

Back in the mortal realm, Master Shifu (Hoffman) tells his students he is ready to retire, and has chosen Dragon Warrior Po (Black) as his replacement. Po proves to be a horrible teacher. Shifu tells him if he wants to be a good teacher, he has to come to understand what it means to be him, to be the Dragon Warrior. Po's plate only gets heavier when his biological father (Cranston) returns and offers to take him back to a secret panda village, and teach him what it really means to be a panda. Then on top of that, Po must prepare to face Kai.

So while I do think this is a good story, I do wish they had taken one or two more passes at the script. The theme of Po discovering who he is, it's a bit of a rehash of his character arc in the previous film. I can see both sides of it though. While Kung Fu Panda 2 was Po discovering who he is, Kung Fu Panda 3 is more about what it means to be him. The former deals with more with the Po side of things, while the latter deals with the Dragon Warrior side. That's all well and good, I just wish the script in 3 did more to set it apart from 2.

The animation in this series has always been spectacular, and this film does not disappoint. The animators really craft a beyond beautiful Spirit Realm, which are the visual highlights of the film, and the Ancient China setting looks as good as ever. The fight scenes in the Spirit Realm look awesome, but ones taking place in other parts of the film never manage to match the grand scale of those in the previous films. The music is once again epic, particularly the theme for our villain, Kai.

The returning voice cast are more than comfortable in their roles by now, and all do great work, so let's focus on the new additions. Bryan Cranston as Po's father Li Shan…I mean it's Bryan Cranston. Has the man ever turned in a bad performance? JK Simmons is hard to recognize as Kai, except for a few moments, but sadly he's the worst of the series' three villains. His motivation and backstory sadly do not reach the compelling, emotional heights of Tai Lung or Lord Shen. Then there's Kate Hudson, playing like, kind of a new love interest for Po? Which is fine but she's just kinda there.

So while probably not worth the five year wait, Kung Fu Panda 3 is still a well-crafted film, and manages to still be one of Dreamworks Animation's best films in recent years. Never reaching the epic-ness of the first or the emotional gravitas of the second, it still retains the fun (If I could borrow from the film's dialogue) awesomeness of its predecessors. It provides a satisfying conclusion to the trilogy, if this does prove to be the last film in the series. Fans of Kung Fu Panda and animation alike will not be disappointed, and I think will agree that this will go down in history as one of the best animated film series of our time.