Film Review- "Maleficent"

Maleficent
Directed by Robert Stromberg
Starring Angelina Jolie, Elle Fanning, and Sharlto Copley

There are villains, and then there are Disney villains. A delicious gallery of rogues that have stood the test of time and become some of cinema's most captivating antagonists. Quite possibly the most popular of all Disney villains is Maleficent, from the animated masterpiece Sleeping Beauty. Logically, if one were to make a film based around a Disney villain, Maleficent would be a wise choice. She's an iconic villainess. The self-proclaimed mistress of all evil.

Unfortunately, in Walt Disney Pictures' Maleficent, the mistress of all evil is nowhere to be found amidst this frustrating mess of a film.

The film begins by telling us Maleficent's previously unknown origins. As a young fairy living in the mystical land of the moors, alongside a population of CGI rejects from The Lord of The Rings and the Neo-Pets, she meets an orphan boy named Stefan. The two grow closer and closer over the years, and eventually fall in love.

Time passes, and as Stefan (Copley) grows he distances himself from Maleficent (Jolie). He works his way up to becoming a trusted knight of the king, who is ought to destroy Maleficent and the moors, fearing her power. After a rough battle, the king declares whoever can kill Maleficent, shall be his successor to the throne.

Stefan returns to the moors, and although he doesn't kill Maleficent, he does drug her and cut off her wings. He presents the wings to the king (claiming Maleficent is dead), and the king appoints him the new king. This all sends Maleficent down the dark path that transforms her into the villain we all know…or at least thought we knew, as this film claims…horribly.

Right after this point is where the film progresses into its own twisted version of the original Sleeping Beauty narrative, and into a downward spiral. This is not the Maleficent old fans have come to expect, and the filmmakers completely ignore what made the character great, and what drew audiences into the theater into the first place. Because of this, as they try to make Maleficent out to be this "misunderstood" character, they in turn tare down what the original Sleeping Beauty established.

The original characters you know and love aren't in this film. If you're a fan of Sleeping Beauty, then you'll be rolling your eyes, groaning, and even tempted to leave the theater at every change in the story. Even the littlest changes that make no sense. Why only change the three fairies names when everyone else keeps their names? Why make the green one the idiot and the blue one ditzy and sensible one when it was the other way around? Why??

Everything in Sleeping Beauty is brought down, to build Maleficent up into this hero character. She's not plotting to find and get Aurora. She's…getting to know her and watching over her? What?? I'd love to list all this film's sins, but I respect the sanctity of spoilers. But this film is afraid to make Maleficent the real villain she is. The best example that come to mind right now is The Lorax, where The Onceler is made not the greedy business man from the book, but the Lorax's conflicted "bro". Ugh. Let the villains be villains!

Maleficent is a perfect example of a film that goes for style over substance. The visuals are nice but the script isn't strong enough to justify them. The script is underdeveloped, which is a shame considering it's written by Linda Woolverton. I mean this is the woman who wrote Beauty & The Beast and The Lion King! Tim Burton's Alice In Wonderland too but…come on! Again, the first act is the strongest, and builds up a lot of wasted potential in a rush to get to the "meat" of the film. We barely get to touch on Maleficent and Stefan's relationship so we really don't have time to get caught up in their conflict.

The effects are nice and the world they create in the moors is pretty enough, but essentially they're just trying to do what every fantasy film since Avatar  has done. Imitate Avatar's effects. I already mentioned The Lord of The Rings and Neo-Pet rejects (Seriously what are they doing in this film??).

However, amidst all this, are instances of a good film trying to get out. The saving grace of it all is of course Angelina Jolie. She is Maleficent, and gives a great performance. Even when she's not playing the Maleficent we know, she still gives an emotional, compelling character. I must say, despite this film's flaws, the recreation of the scene where Maleficent crashes Aurora's christening and curses her as a baby is great. Jolie's performance, supported by the practical and visual effects, make it like the scene from the original has literally come to life.

Elle Fanning is good but not great as Aurora. Sharlto Copley almost looks like a real-life version of the animated King Stefan, and he works in the role. Sam Riley, who will forever be known now as Discount Orlando Bloom, plays Dival, this film's version of Maleficent's raven, here her shape-shifting servant. He's alright, and the adaptation of the character is creative, but he also pulls in my opinion the biggest middle finger of all (You'll have to watch and see).

Prince Phillip is nothing but a footnote here, and played by who looks to be a lost member of One Direction that missed his tour bus. I've heard the three fairies in Sleeping Beauty be called annoying before. Well wait til' you see them here.

Starting out with a strong and compelling first act, Maleficent soon degrades itself into a film that's difficult to watch, despite a wonderful performance from its lead actress. If you're not a fan of Sleeping Beauty, or willing to ignore its existence for two hours, maybe it's a better film for you. Nevertheless, that doesn't change the fact that it's underwritten, over-stylized, and ignorant to its own source material. That last part being the biggest offense of all, considering the original was made by the same studio. I can only hope parents of younger children will show their children Sleeping Beauty, and not just Maleficent. That way they can see what true evil looks like.

Disney Sequel Showdown- "The Hunchback of Notre Dame II"

Disney Sequel Showdown: Round #2
*Spoilers included in this review*

The Hunchback of Notre Dame II
Directed by Bradley Raymond
Starring Tom Hulce, Jennifer Love Hewitt, and Haley Joel Osment

Remember how I said maybe part of the reason Pocahontas II was made was to give Pocahontas the standard Disney-ending, complete with handsome prince-type character? Well, The Hunchback of Note Dame II  was DEFINITELY made to give Quasimodo the standard Disney-ending, complete with beautiful princess-type character.

The Hunchback of Notre Dame definitely doesn't get the credit it deserves, and has always been overshadowed by more popular films from the Disney Renaissance period, like The Lion King and Beauty & The Beast. It's a great animated film, and one of my favorites. It's sequel, not so much.

Quasimodo (Hulce) has been fully accepted and integrated into Parisian society. The Festival D'Amour (Festival of Love) is approaching, and Quasimodo wonders if there's someone out there to love him. A circus comes to town, led by a wicked conman named Sarousch (Michael McKean). He's out to steal a famous, jewel-crested belle named La Fiedele from Notre Dame. He sends his assistant Madeline (Hewitt) to case the joint. She runs into Quasimodo, they hit off, but she is frightened by his appearance. Personally, I don't know what her deal is. Especially when this little…guy, was hanging around her boss the entire time:

Where is his eyes?!?

Anyway, you can pretty much guess where the story goes from there. Slowly but surely, she starts to fall for him, but she still has her ties to Sarousch and his plot, eventually she'll be exposed, they'll have a fall-out, then they'll make up, typical romantic-comedy bull.

Let's discuss this whole "Quasi gets the girl" angle for a bit. I understand maybe audiences were upset Quasimodo and Esmerelda didn't get together in the first film. It's one of the ways the film stays true to the Victor Hugo novel (For those of you that don't know, the original novel is far more darker than the Disney adaptation, so obviously there were a few liberties taken). You could say, "Well if they changed so much from the book, why couldn't Quasi get the girl too?" Well to that I say, why not?

Stepping away from the book, let's look at the Quasimodo we're presented with in Hunchback. This isn't a character desperate for love. This is a character who wants to get out of his home/prison and explore the world. By the end of the film not only does he accomplish this, he discovers, as an old trailer for the film states, "the magic within himself".

Story-wise, it's not a huge deal for this guy to find a girl. Sure, it's nice to see him find one, and it's nice of Hunchback II to give its younger audience the message that there's someone out there for everyone. Well, Disney did another, much better film, that carried that same message…called Beauty & The Beast. 

Wanting to give Quasimodo a girlfriend isn't a good enough reason for this film to exist, and the whole "steal the bell" subplot doesn't do much to buffen up this scrawny script. The film barely hits the one-hour mark. Not to mention the film does a lot of treading on what Hunchback did. Quasimodo goes through another "I'm not good enough" episode and it hurts to watch. Gypsies/circus/street performers, which were fighting unjust persecution in Hunchback, are bad guys here. Then on the flip side of that is Pheobus, who was intelligent and non-prejudice, is now dense and suspicious of these people.

The animation is simply not good. It pales in comparison to that of Hunchback's. There are moments where they try to recreate shots from the first film, and it just doesn't work. Quasimodo, who was drawn rough on the edges but easy on the eyes, does not look good at all here. At some points he resembles a melting Peter Griffin, but maybe that's too harsh. The songs fail to reach the emotional heights of the ones from Hunchback, but "Ordinary Miracle" is a nice little number. Sarousch is not a compelling villain, and unworthy to hold Frollo's giant hat. In fact, it's a little weird how much he fawns over himself in the film…

But…there is some good in this film. All the returning cast members do a good job, and you can tell they still care about these characters. More importantly, you still root for Quasimodo and connect to him, and I think a lot of that is due to his voice actor Tom Hulce. You do want to see him get the girl. Jennifer Love Hewitt does fairly well as Madeline, and while her and Quasi's "flirting" does get kind of annoying, you still want to see them get together. One more bad note,  Haley Joel Osment as Pheobus and Esmerelda's son Zephyr is the most annoying thing ever. That is all.

Hunchback of Notre Dame II doesn't do enough to justify its existence. If this were an hour-long series finale to a Hunchback of Notre Dame animated series (Thank God there was never one of those), maybe audiences could have passed better judgement. But it's not, it's a direct-to-video sequel with weak animation and a weak script, to an animated masterpiece.

I haven't seen every Disney sequel, believe it or not, and I'm sure there are worse ones out there (I hear Fox & The Hound 2 is a midquel about Todd and Copper joining a band. Ugh.) If I took the time to watch them all, and do a "Top 10 Worst Disney Sequels",  I honestly think this one would end up lower on the list. Unfortunately, that's still not enough for me to recommend a viewing of it.

Oh, one more thing…

It escaped imprisonment?!?!? Five buck says if there was to be a Hunchback 3, that little Gollum wannabe was going to be the villain….*shudders*

Disney Sequel Showdown- "Pocahontas II: Journey To A New World"

Disney Sequel Showdown: Round #1
*Spoilers included in this review*

Pocahontas II: Journey To A New World
Directed by Tom Ellery & Bradley Raymond
Starring Irene Bedard, Billy Zane, Donal Gibson, and David Odgen Steirs

As much as I love Disney, I know not everything they do is great. The thrity-something direct-to-video sequels, midquels, threquels and spin-offs in particular. There are very few films in Disney's main animated feature canon, that haven't had at least one follow-up produced by the now closed Disney Toon Studios, which was shut down by John Lasseter a few years back.

Now to be fair...not all of them were bad. There were some diamonds in the rough, that while in no way can be compared to the originals, were decent and enjoyable. Pochaontas II, somehow falls in-between the two categories of "Decent" and "Unwatchable".

Some time after the first film, Governor Ratcliffe (Steirs) has convinced King James (Jim Cummings) that John Smith (Gibson…no not, Mel. His brother) is a traitor to the crown, while covering up his own crimes in the process. Ratcliffe leads an assault on Smith's home with a warrant for his arrest, and Smith dies in the ensuing pursuit (Yeah. Sure he does.)

Some more time passes, and as Pocahontas (Bedard) tries to put Smith's death behind her, diplomat John Rolfe (Zane) arrives in Jamestown, hoping to bring Chief Powhatan (Now played by Cummings in this film) back to England to speak with King James, and hopefully prevent Ratcliffe and his armada from declaring war on the natives. But Pocahontas volunteers to go in her father's place.

Rolfe brings Pocahontas back to England, along with her animal friends (Who just are not enjoyable to watch as they were in the first film) and a silent bodyguard, with hopes to educate her in British etiquette, and together prevent Ratcliffe's armada from sailing to Jamestown.

Well you can probably already see the first problem with this film from that summary. Within the first two minutes of this sequel, nearly everything that was accomplished in the first film is undone. The villain is absolved of his crimes with literally just one line of dialogue, and the settlers and natives are at odds again. Not to mention the film also destroys the relationship between Pocahontas and John Smith.  I mean, they literally put Pocahontas in a love triangle….I'll say that again. Pocahontas in a love triangle. Doesn't sound right does it? It also doesn't help that her new love interest John Rolfe, is downright annoying for the first half of the film.

Probably the biggest fault in this film is what they do to Pocahontas's character. She is so willing to change who she is to impress the British royalty in this film, rather than share her ways, like she did in with John Smith in the original film. You could argue that she had to in order to get her point across to the king, but in the end she decides to be true to her heart, so it's all a waste of time and a complete u-turn of her characterization.

Now to be fair, Journey To A New World does something that most other Disney sequels don't do, and that's progress our protagonist's story. It's not "The protagonist's child goes through a smiler experience as they did" or "Something that happened to the protagonist, taking place somewhere in the middle of the first film, but we didn't see it" as most Disney sequels (or midquels) are. Pocahontas's story goes on in a unique, logical way in this film.

Heck it even kind of tries to rectify the historical inaccuracies of the first film, putting her with Rolfe and having her go to England, and it is sort of realistic that the natives and settlers wouldn't immediately go from enemies to allies. Nevertheless, the damage is already done, and all the film accomplishes by doing this is tare down a far superior film.

I'm not going to discuss the downgrade in animation because it's not really fair. The songs aren't bad for a direct-to-video film, but they are nothing compared to the songs of Pocahontas. The voice acting is fine. Almost all of the original cast members return and you can tell they still care about these characters.

I'm not sure what the filmmakers intentions were when they set out to make Pocahontas II (Money earnings aside). Was it to rectify the historical inaccuracies of Pocahontas? Was it to give Pocahontas her standard Disney-Princess ending, complete with handsome prince/nobleman? Who knows? I can see there are good intentions behind this film, but the badness in it overshadows them, leaving Pocahontas II somewhere in the middle of the Disney-Sequel spectrum.

Like I said, at least it continues the protagonist's story in a logical way. Sort of like The Hunchback of Notre Dame II but…umm give me a few days on this one...

Film Review- "The Amazing Spider-Man 2"

The Amazing Spider-Man 2
Directed By Marc Webb
Starring Andrew Garfield, Emma Stone, Dane DeHaan, and Jamie Foxx

It always amazes me, when at the end of, or during a film, the theater audience breaks out in applause (There was a lot of applauding throughout my showing of Captain America: The Winter Soldier). It's not like they're watching a show on Broadway, and the actors are their to receive your praise, as they come out for a curtain call. It's not like the theater projectionist is getting anything from the applause (He just pushes a couple of buttons. I've seen him do it). In the end, I guess it just comes right down to the enthusiasm of moviegoers, which is great.

My question though is, and this may sound kind of dumb, what does it take for a film to get an applause? "Well obviously if it's good!" you might say. Well I've seen plenty of great films, but there have only been a handful of times when I've witnessed applause in a movie theater. More than often it's been for a comic-book film like The Avengers, and The Dark Knight series. On rare occasions it's been for an animated film like Finding Nemo, or an awards season film like Zero Dark Thirty. Then last week, there was The Amazing Spider-Man 2. That was the first time I looked around the theater and said to myself, "Really?"

I don't think The Amazing Spider-Man 2 is a bad film, but it has its problems, and I don't think it deserves applause. The film obviously takes place some time after the first one. Peter and Gwen (Garfield and Stone) are together and graduating high school. Peter is still haunted by the promise Gwen's father (Denis Leary) had him make before his death. This causes a lot of strain on his relationship with Gwen, and puts a lot of uncertainty in their future together.

Meanwhile, Peter's old friend Harry Osborn (DeHaan) returns to visit his dying father Norman (Chris Cooper). Harry finds out he has the same disease as his father, and that the cure may lie in Spider-Man's blood. Also meanwhile, lonely and Spidey-obsessed Oscorp employee Max Dillon (Foxx) has a tragic accident that turns him into the super villain Electro. Also ALSO meanwhile, Peter is still trying to uncover the secret past of his long-lost father.

So yeah, there's a lot going on in this film, and it makes for an uneven script. It's unfortunate, because while one plot line can be interesting, another can be very boring. At times in the film you may be asking yourself, "Hey what happened to Electro?" or "Hey isn't Harry Osborn supposed to be doing something?" Regardless, when this film works it works. Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone are again the highlight of the film. Their chemistry is spot-on, but I just had to roll my eyes when I found out that we were going to go through another "Maybe we shouldn't be together" storyline…especially when we did that in the last Spider-Man trilogy! In the second film of that trilogy, too I might add! Thankfully though, Garfield and Stone's acting salvages it.

What's happening with Harry, Oscorp, and the mystery of Peter's father is definitely the most interesting
part of the film. Everything with Electro however, falls flat for me. Personally, I felt Jamie Foxx was miscast. Maybe not as Electro, but as Max Dillon. I found Dillon to be a very annoying, unlikeable character with little to no development. Sure, he's lonely, he's obsessed with Spider-Man, but why? If you cut the Electro stuff out of this, I think The Amazing Spider-Man 2 would have been a better film. I guess they're really rushing to form that Sinister Six team-up though. By the way, did I mention Paul Giammati is in this too as The Rhino? Jeez…

You can see hints in the trailers of this film (and the last one) that there were some "big picture stuff" cut out. For what reason is unclear, but maybe there are some things in this franchise that shouldn't have been left on the cutting room floor, and some things that should have.

While The Amazing Spider-Man 2 is an uneven film, that sadly only offers more of the same in the comic book-film genre, there's plenty to enjoy. Our two leads are again great, with a (mostly) strong supporting cast. Plenty of stellar action, heart twisting drama and emotion, you can still see the good in this film. Unlike the enthusiastic crowd I saw the film with, I'm probably not as eager for repeat viewings. No applause from me, but a tip of the hat there, Spidey.

Film Review- "Captain America: The Winter Soldier"

Let's just get this out of the way right now. This may be the best film of the Marvel Cinematic Universe yet.

Captain America: The Winter Soldier
Directed By Anthony & Joe Russo
Starring Chris Evans, Scarlett Johansson  Anthony Mackie, Sebastian Stan, Cobie Smulders, Samuel L. Jackson and Robert Redford

Winter Soldier takes place two years after The Avengers, and Steve Rogers (Evans) is still adjusting to how the world has changed. He's joined up with SHEILD, working closely with Agent Romanoff aka Black Widow (Johansson) and Nick Fury (Jackson). Rogers soon starts to have problems with how Fury and SHEILD operate, as not everything is in black & white in the world anymore. The lines between right and wrong are blurred.

When trouble starts brewing among the ranks of SHEILD, Captain America is targeted as a fugitive, and he and Romanoff go on the run, and soon start to uncover a massive conspiracy. Teaming up with Sam Wilson aka The Falcon (Mackie), and Maria Hill (Smulders), they set out to restore order and, quite literally save the world. But Rogers soon faces a ghost of his past, in the form of the master assassin, The Winter Soldier (avoiding spoilers for those who haven't read the comics…or can't see the obvious).

This film is non-stop action and drama. You may have heard it been called a "political thriller" and rightfully so. The plot, and what's going on with SHEILD in the film isn't difficult to follow, despite what some reviews have stated. It's is the very definition of a game changer, for the entire Marvel Cinematic Universe. Really, this film is mind blowing. While it borrows heavily from Ed Brubaker's "Winter Soldier" arc in the comics, the film adapts to the blueprints of the MCU franchise, and stands more than well enough on its own. Not to mention, the film does a great job of commenting on today's society, and how we and the government operate.

The ensemble cast of this film is amazing. Chris Evans gives his best performance as Steve Rogers in this film, after what the character has gone through in Captain America and The Avengers. Scarlett Johansson is given much more to do as Black Widow than she has in past films, and rightfully so. Her chemistry with Evans is clear and she continues to own this character. Anthony Mackie solidifies his status as movie star with this film. The Falcon gives him a real chance to show off his acting chops.

All the supporting players from the past, Cobie Smulders and Samuel L. Jackson included, once again give it their all. Robert Redford as Alexander Pierce is subtle but brilliant. Sebastian Stan doesn't really stand out, but when he's on screen you've got your eyes on him. It really is impossible to go through every member of this film's cast it's so large, but just trust me, they're all amazing.

There's plenty of Easter eggs for Marvel fans to enjoy looking for in this film, and honestly…I can't find any flaws with it. Maybe with a second viewing I could find some, but I don't think I'd have much luck. Captain America: The Winter Solider is an amazing film. It changes everything what has been and what will be in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. It's a film you cannot miss, even if you're a non-Marvel fan. No can deny, this is one of the best films of the year.

Film Review- "Muppets Most Wanted"

Muppets Most Wanted
Directed By James Bobin
Starring Ricky Gervais, Tina Fey, Ty Burrell, and The Muppets

As the newest installment in the Muppet film series begins (quite literally where The Muppets left off), Kermit and the gang sing a song about sequels, stating "Everybody knows that the sequel's never quite as good." I'm inclined to disagree to some extent. Muppets Most Wanted is a great film, but it doesn't match the standards set by The Muppets.

The gang sets off on a international tour through Europe, spear-headed by their new manager Dominic (Gervais). Kermit starts to feel overshadowed by Dominic, and of no use to his friends. It's then that the criminal mastermind Constantine, who bears a striking resemblance to Kermit, switches places with our hero. Kermit is believed to be Constantine and is thrown in to a Russian Gulag, run by the sweet but strict officer Nadia (Fey).

Constantine takes Kermit's place among The Muppets, fooling (mostly) everyone. It is then revealed that Constantine and Dominic are in cahoots, planning to pull of a grand string of heists throughout Europe, and place the blame on The Muppets. That's when Sam The Eagle and Interpol officer Jean Pierre Napoleon (Burrell) come in to track them down. The race is then on for Kermit to get back to The Muppets and set everything right.

It's not the most original story, and the "crime" angle causes older fans to draw comparisons to The Great Muppet Caper, but when you put The Muppets into a story like this, that makes it even better. The movie is the hilarious, filled with the type of jokes and gags you'd expect from The Muppets. The songs are catchy, "We're Doin' A Sequel" and "The Big House" in particular.

The performances…I mean I don't think we have to discuss the performance of The Muppets. They can do no wrong. Ricky Gervais does great, playing second bannana to The Muppets most of the film. He doesn't overshadow them, but he does enough to earn his spotlight. Tina Fey is wonderful as always, and her scenes with Kermit are fantastic. Ty Burrell is hilarious, and every minute him and Sam The Eagle are on screen is terrific. The cameos this time around are great, with some really great names popping up for a few seconds and getting laughs of their own.

Now unfortunately, the problems with this film are ones it isn't in control of. Muppets Most Wanted has two things working against it: timing and nostalgia. Being released right after the big comeback that was The Muppets is tough. It doesn't have "The Muppets are back! We haven't forgotten about them!" emotions to, for lack of better words, convey or manipulate. Don't get me wrong, Most Wanted is as touching and heart-warming as The Muppets get, but there's no way it could match the last tear-jerking five minutes of its predecessor.

If a few more years had passed since The Muppets was released, perhaps Most Wanted would have faired better with the critics. On the other hand, you could argue no matter when the next Muppet movie came out, it was always going to be compared the the one(s) that came before it. Perhaps they didn't go "big" enough, following so closely to the plot line its predecessor established, and a more "specific" story like The Muppet Christmas Carol or Muppet Treasure Island would have been better suited this time around.

But it isn't really fair to judge a film based on its predecessor, wether it's a direct sequel or not. This isn't the Marvel Cinematic Universe, it's The Muppets. As a stand alone film Muppets Most Wanted is a perfectly fine, enjoyable film. Personally I will always enjoy The Muppets more, but Most Wanted will definitely has enough rematch potential that it'll earn a spot in home video collections for years to come.

Top 30 Episodes of "How I Met Your Mother"

Alright, I think enough time has passed since the finale, so let's get going on this legendary list.

These, are my Top 30 Episodes of How I Met Your Mother. 

30. Gary Blauman (Season 9, Episode 21)
Though it really, by all accounts, one last filler before we go into the final three episodes of the series, this episode's ending is what I like to call "The Toy Story 3 version of How I Met Your Mother". The theme, about putting sincere effort into keeping in touch with the people you care about, is one of my favorite lessons the show has taught us (I reference it in my personal piece, "What I Learned From How I Met Your Mother"). In addition to Barney's accidental curly fry rant, and Ted & Tracy's first date, this episode is memorable enough to earn a spot on the list.

29. How I Met Everyone Else (Season 3, Episode 5)
Everyone loves a good origin story, and we got a couple of hilarious ones in this episode, including Ted and Marshall pranking Barney on their first meetings, and Marshall originally thinking Ted as the dean. Plus, who could forget that maniac "Blah Blah", or the fact this episode gave us the term "eating a sandwich"?

28. Best Burger In New York (Season 4, Episode 2)
Regis Philbin in How I Met Your Mother acting insane. Need I say more? Plus Marshall's relentless quest to find a perfect burger from long ago, and Robin's desperate search for just one bite of food make "Best Burger In New York" a highlight of Season 4.

27. Subway Wars (Season 6, Episode 4)
Both hilarious and epic, "Subway Wars" is classic How I Met Your Mother. Barney's over-the-top methods of getting to the restaurant first, Maury Povich, a tiny imaginary Marshall on a pregnancy test ("Somebody help me!! SOMEBODY HELP ME!!"), all strung together with the classic ballad "Marshall Vs The Machines".

26. Rabbit or Duck (Season 5,  Episode 15)
While this episode features the hilarious "Rabbit Vs Duck" debate, and Barney's madness over his "hook-up phone", the rest of the episode, story and joke wise don't quite measure up. But those two things make up for that in a decent episode.

25. Trilogy Time (Season 7, Episode 20)
Ted and Marshall made a vow in college to watch the original Star Wars trilogy every three years, and this episode shows us when that tri-annual event took place throughout the series until this episode. It's a really fun and creative episode, revisiting some of the show's most pivotal moments. What's also fun is seeing "what could have been" in "fake flash forwards", and watching the cast do some ridiculous things. It's a very creative episode, that is also a testament to the never ending battle of expectations vs reality, which ends on a very sweet moment for Ted in the future.

24. Three Days of Snow (Season 4, Episode 13)
This episode shows just how interchangeable this cast is, and how they all can bounce off one another so well, no matter who they're sharing a scene is. Featuring great moments like Ted and Barney running the bar, Party School Bingo, and the final scene at the airport with Marshall and Lily, "Three Days of Snow" is another great episode of How I Met Your Mother.

23. The Window (Season 5, Episode 10)
Make Adjustments…Go Get Energized! Ted's failed attempt to finally land The Girl Next Door is sprinkled with the most ridiculous scenarios. Robin's failed attempts to seduce his competition, trying to stop Barney from…being Barney, and Marshall's inner battle with his nine-year-old self. While it is another episode where Ted goes after someone that isn't The Mother, it gives every character a chance to shine in their own special way.

22. Bass Player Wanted (Season 9, Episode 13)
Putting a guest star in the middle of a great cast is always risky, but Andrew Rannels as Darren does pretty great. Josh Radnor and Neil Patrick Harris's scenes together are amazing, as always. But the real gem of the episode is Cristin Milioti, as she is given a lot of great material to work with.  This is one of the best episodes of the ninth and final season.

21. The Best Man (Season 7, Episode 1)
In the first episode of the seventh season, which was very much the beginning of the march (a very long march) towards the series's end game, we are treated to an amazing dance scene with Barney and Robin. Plus, Marshall getting drunk and obsessing over babies, and "Classic Schmosby". Side note, go watch Robin and Ted's conversation about timing again. Now watch the finale again…..yeah. I know.

20. The Perfect Cocktail (Season 6, Episode 22)
I think we can all agree that, watching our friends make asses of themselves drunk is great comedy, and that's exactly what this episode gives us. From Ted's beatboxing, to…pretty much everything Neil Patrick Harris and Jason Segel do, the laughs just keep coming in this episode.

19. How The Lily Stole Christmas (Season 2, Episode 11)
I'm a sucker for a good Christmas episode, and How I Met Your Mother's first one is nothing short of great. The use of "Grinch" as a censor for an unknown swear word. Robin taking care of a sick, whining Barney (and a fiery batch of cookies). Ted's very religious cousins and their Christmas dinner. This is a classic Christmas episode, and a classic How I Met Your Mother episode.

18. The Magician's Code Part 1 &2 (Season 7, Episodes 23 & 24)
Marshall and Lily's quest to become parents, that started all the way back in season 4, finally comes to a close, with the beautiful birth of Marvin Wait-for-It Eriksen. The birth for the adorable little guy comes amidst some truly ridiculous moments, such as "Yoda-Drunk" Marshall, Barney's determination to uphold The Magician's Code, and Robin's coming to terms with the birthing process ("You! Get that thing out of my office! Weak women disgust me!"- Dr. Sonya).

17. Jenkins (Season 5, Episode 13)
Neil Patrick Harris took the director's chair for this episode, and it pays off. Jason Segel and Alyson Hannigan continue to play off each other amazingly, but if I had to describe the episode in two words, it'd be "But umm…"

16. The End of The Aisle (Season 9, Episode 22)
The cast gives some of their best work in this episode. While the laughs aren't heavy (Save for Marshall's never- ending "vow" puns, the final slap and one last "Nobody Asked You Patrice"), it's a beautiful thing when we finally reach Barney and Robin's wedding. Set to Pearl Jam's "Future Days", it's hard to hold the tears back, as the moment that was teased years before finally arrives, and it was legendary….and then...

15. Last Forever Part 1 &2 (Season 9, Episode 23 & 24)
WAIT. WAIT FOR IIIT!!!!!!

I know some of you are still angry, and are probably ready to throw tomatoes at me for even putting it on the list. But I've watched the finale a few more times since I wrote my initial response to it…and dammit, I enjoy it now. How can anyone not love the fact that we finally see Ted meeting Tracy (The Mother), after multiple glimpses at their beautiful life together all season long, and in this episode. A bittersweet ending yes, but how can you now get choked up over Ted's last bit of monolgue? Plus there's so many wonderful moments in this episode, like Barney and his newborn daughter. "Last Forever" is a touching, emotional close to a show that has always balanced the lighter and darker sides of life, through laughs and tears.

14. Legendaddy/Hopeless (Season 6, Episode 19 & 21)
Both episodes have Neil Patrick Harris and John Lithgow at their very best. While one has them giving their best dramatically, the other has them giving their best comedically. On the dramatic side, Neil Patrick Harris gives it his all in "Legendaddy" as he reunites with his estranged father Jerry (Lithgow). Lithgow is one of the best guest stars the show's ever had, balancing both the light-hearted and the gritty sides of the show. The final scene between him and NPH still stands out strong in my memory. Plus there's Marshall's opossum Rex. He found him in a dumpster. He lives with us now. Comedically, "Hopeless" gives the two very actors plenty material to play off another, scene after scene, while still ending on a strong emotional note. Then there's the origin of the red cowboy boots. Oh Ted.

13. The Final Page Part 1 & 2 (Season 8, Episode 11 & 12)
Barney's month-long scheme to propose to Robin is nothing short of wonderful. Marvin's lullaby is adorable. Ted's scene with Robin in the limo is very touching. Neil Patrick Harris's performance when Barney is jinxed, Peter Gallagher and Seth Green's guest roles...There's an endless amount of things that make one of the show's most important episodes one of its best.

12. Symphony of Illumination (Season 7, Episode 12)
One of the saddest episodes in the show. After the episode that came before it, told us Robin might be pregnant, not only did this one say she wasn't, but that she couldn't have children at all. The episode had plenty of laughs, only to pull the rug out from under us and sucker punch us in the heart at the very end. The final scene is one of the series' best moments. But in the end, this episode gives us one of Cobie Smulders best performances.

11. Slapsgiving (Season 3, Episode 9)
Neil Patrick Harris does a great job playing a skittish, disoriented Barney as the third slap of the slap bet draws closer in this Thanksgiving/Slapsgiving episode. Jason Segel's closing song (with backup vocals from NPH) has gone down in history as one of the show's trademarks, and rightfully so. As Ted and Robin's post break-up tension come to a head, the episode shows just how messy, ridiculous, and hilarious Thanksgiving can be…and Bob.

10. Girls Vs Suits (Season 5, Episode 12)
The show's 100th episode gave us the musical number to end all musical numbers, and (at the time) the closest we've ever been to meeting The Mother, with Ted dating her roommate Cindy (Rachel Bilson). Exciting and fun to watch for the fans, the episode also had plenty to chuckle at as the gang, Barney in particular, deal with the arrival of MacLaren's new, suit-hating bartender (Stacy Keibler).

9. Last Words (Season 6, Episode 14)
While the final scene of "Bad News"will always be one of my favorite scenes, the episode on a whole, not so much. Nevertheless, in the story of Marshall's Dad's unexpected death, Jason Segel gives an incredible performance, and his best work in the show. His final monologue in the end is heartbreaking, and Marshall's quest to remember his last words with his father (While the gang tries to provide some humor throughout) makes this another heavy hitter in the series.

8. Arrivederci, Fiero (Season 2, Episode 17)
The gang recounts all the memories they made with Marshall's old Fiero in some hilarious flashbacks. Ted and Marshall's original, disastarous road trip, which gave us the game "Zitch Dog" and brought new life to the song "500 Miles" by The Proclaimers. Plus who could forget Barney's driving lesson? If you haven't already, really listen to what he and Ted are screaming during the "crash scene". Also, there was a suicidal cat and a hitchhiking Waldo.

7. Who Wants To Be A Godparent? (Season 8, Episode 4)
"Time will hear a broken heart…but not that bitch's window!"
It's always great when we can get all five members of the cast in one straight storyline for an episode. That's what we get when Marshall & Lily put the others in a game show-like competition over the right to be Marvin's godparent. The cutaway scenes with Ted, Barney, and Robin all dealing with different parenting situations with Marvin are great, and everyone is bouncing off each other so well in this episode the laughs don't stop.

6 . Monday Night Football (Season 2, Episode 14)
The gang must attend a funeral Super Bowl Sunday, and spend the following day doing everything they can to avoid learning who won, until they can watch it on Tivo that night. What they go through is absurd and hilarious (typical of the show). Robin avoiding reporting the news at her own anchor desk. Marshall being blackmailed by a kindergartner. Ted walking across the city practically deaf and blind. Only on How I Met Your Mother could a story like this exist.

5. How Your Mother Met Me (Season 9, Episode 16)
The clock rewinds back to the very beginning of the series, and we see what Tracy's been up to these past nine years. If you weren't already in love with Cristin Milioti as the titular mother, this episode made you love her. A character we only had patches of knowledge of, we see the emotional journey that brought her to the threshold of meeting the father of her children. This beautiful, nostalgic episode ends with Milioti singing a wonderful rendition of "La Vie En Rose", that becomes Ted's (and mine) favorite performance of the future Mrs. Mosby.

4. Showdown (Season 2, Episode 20)
Bob Barker is Barney's father? Well, at least that's what he thinks, and plans to tell the man when he lands a spot on The Price Is Right. Seeing the delusional Barney actually play on The Price Is Right, getting way too into it, and getting choked up over every little thing Bob Barker says is just so good. Then there's an interesting little end tag with Marshall (and Ted) making a goodnight video to Lily, which is both awkward and humorous.

3. No Pressure (Season 7, Episode 17)
Ted and Robin revisit their romance in another great episode from the fantastic Season 7, while Barney goes mad searching for Marshall & Lily's sextape. Both stories provide some laughs, but in the end it's a very bittersweet chapter in the Ted/Robin storyline, that paves the way for Ted to move forward and find "The One". The episode is very deep, pulling together a lot of what's been dealt with in the season so far, all boiling over to this moment. Giving the whole cast plenty of great material to work with, it's one of the show's best scripted episodes (And I'm not just saying that because the writer went to Quinnipiac University, my alma mater…)

2. The Rebound Girl (Season 7, Episode 11) 
Bro-Parenting. Could it work? Ted and Barney want to try and find out, after each of them have gone through a bit of a rough patch. It's always great when Josh Radnor and NPH get to play off one another, and this is one of their best episodes, as they go through another half-baked scheme. Seeing them try to plan their "family life" and doing their "We're having a baby!" hug-dance…so good. Plus you have Cobie Smulders in the B-storyline exercising her comedic abilities, and a cameo from Ghostbuster Ernie Hudson. This episode is nothing short of wonderful.

But it's only #2 on my list. The #1 spot belongs to-Wait for it…...


1. The Time Travelers (Season 8, Episode 20)
I like to look at How I Met Your Mother as 50% funny, and 50% drama, if this post hasn't made that clear yet. For every sad episode, there's a funny episode. For every laugh, there is a tear. The Time Travelers takes that notion and twists it, hiding a sad episode in the concept of a funny one. Again, it's Josh Radnor and NPH doing what they do best, while Jason Segel and Cobie Smulders prove that they're quite the comedic duo as well. The cast and crew fired on all cylinders in this episode. But the real tour de force here is our leading man, Josh Radnor. A defining performance in his nine-year role of Ted Mosby. It's amazing, now that the finale has aired, how much more powerful his speech is at the end.

It's both beautiful and sad, that Ted finds himself alone, with nothing but his stories, his memories, and in that moment, he (as the narrator) comes to terms with how important every second he has with the woman he loves is. Well not just the woman he loves, but his friends Barney, Robin, Marshall, and Lily. Every moment we have with someone we love is precious. That's a beautiful lesson, one which I'll always be glad How I Met Your Mother taught us, as I've stated before in past articles. There will be low moments, where we find ourselves alone and idle, but it's in these moments we can make a great self-discovery, as the narrating Ted admits to his children. Emotional, hilarious, and profound. "The Time Travelers" is my favorite episode of How I Met Your Mother.

Now I understand my favorite episodes aren't necessarily everyone else's, and I'm sure many of you will disagree with my choices, as much as you could agree with them. If you have a thought you'd like to share, there's a comment section below. Ask for me, I'm off to write reviews for Muppets Most Wanted and Captain America: The Winter Soldier. They're going to be legendary.